your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
