We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize