I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
