Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
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