Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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