According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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