my mouth tastes like poor choices
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just googled if crying burns calories
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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