You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
