I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
