Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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