I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
