She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
