Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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