Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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