No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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