I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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