why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
