Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize