dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
