hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
