my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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