Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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