So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
