i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
