two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize