like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
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he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
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The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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