I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
