How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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