why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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