I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize