I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
