dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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