We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
