please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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