I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
