so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize