Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We left an ass print on the piano.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
