So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
