this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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