I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
