Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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