you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
