party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
