Your tits are I can't wait for
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
