But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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