so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
