I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i think im in europe. pls send help
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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