I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
