this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize