Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My dick has a subreddit
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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