The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
