Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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