I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize