I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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