i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
