I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm at about main and main street
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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