Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
